Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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