ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
he shaved USA in his pubs
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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