you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
So much rum. So many feels.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
