he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
