Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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