i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
