I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
