If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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