She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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