at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
