Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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