I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
