taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I deserve this hangover.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
