i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
