He asked me if I "almost moaned"
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize