so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize