normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
