so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize