we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Houston, we have a squirter
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
