Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
