Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
