Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
