I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
The Olympian is in my bed
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
