My underwear smells like fireworks.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
