Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
