dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
