He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Randomize
