I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
