I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
