get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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