So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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