ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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