As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
What drink are we having for lunch?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize