weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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