I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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