hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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