Me. At least after what I've been through.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
