he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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