It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you will always have a special place in my vag
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
