she was so not down for the gang bang
Jerry, you need to find god
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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