Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
