So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
