You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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