First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
home. puking in laundry basket.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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