I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
