Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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