Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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