I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
