I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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