she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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