Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
