My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
