Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
