I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize