I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
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