Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
