Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
