OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
