whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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