I feel like abortions should bother me more
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
