do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize