It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
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