Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
