That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
