If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
