I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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