apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
