Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
